How to Know It's Time to Clean House

• A pungent, unexplainable odor greets you when you walk in the door.
• There are sippy cups in the sink containing what appears to be cottage cheese.
• You find a laundry basket containing dirty clothes you thought were lost, which explains the phenomena of the disappearing washcloths.
• Your baby's knees are brown from crawling on the floor.
• You stick to the floor when you walk on it.
• You are unloading the dishwasher, but can't find a clean surface to put a clean dish on.
• No silverware in the silverware drawer.
• One word: Commando.
• The cat wants to go live with the neighbors...and they have dogs.
• You need orange cones and flashing lights around the pile of laundry in the hall so people can walk through without hurting themselves.
• You find leftovers from Christmas in the fridge...and it's mid January.
• Your six-year-old says, "Mom, what's that brown stuff on the stove?"
• You search the yellow pages for the nearest truckstop so you can use a bathroom cleaner than your own.