Thursday, April 13, 2006
"We've already been through this before. We both know you don't have it in you."
It's what Maugrim says to Peter in the movie "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe". Maugrim is a wolf and sheriff of the witch's secret police. He is threatening Peter's sisters when Peter comes to their rescue, sword drawn. He is visibly nervous and Maugrim paces back and forth, taunting him, feeding on his fear.
"We both know you don't have it in you..."
Those words resonate with me. I hear them every day.
I heard them when I enrolled at the local community college earlier this week.
I hear them when I don't complete our homeschool lessons every day.
I hear them when I lose my patience with my children.
I hear them when I eat six cookies instead of two.
I hear them each time I fall short. And each time I take a step toward becoming more.
Aslan, the true king of Narnia, comes to Peter's aid. However, he holds back anyone from helping him. Even though he could easily tear the wolf in two with one fell swoop, he stands by. "This is Peter's battle," he says. Peter is shaken, but steadfast. Maugrim leaps at him and lands on Peter's sword. He is defeated...maybe even by accident. Peter can't believe he did it. But my favorite part happens next. Aslan makes him a knight of Narnia. Peter's entire countenance changes from one of a scared little boy to a confident young warrior. And he is...different. The change is palpable. You can see it. He sheaths his sword and you know there's about to be a serious butt-whoopin', with Peter leading the charge.
Sometimes I want to give back my sword and lay down on the ground...let the wolf tear out my heart. I don't want to do it anymore. But a little belief goes a long way. Tomorrow I will try again. I am tired and scared, but there is an untamed lion who is there beside me...who gives me his belief when my own is wavering.
"Peter, clean your sword."