1. When the cookie dough recipe says "can be refrigerated up to six days", you cannot stretch that into fourteen. The dough hardens, thus making it useless for cookies. It would, however, be useful as a doorstop. Just in time for holiday gift-giving!
2. Never let a toddler run through the house without a diaper...no matter how adorable their naked tushie is. They are not paper-trained. They will pee on the floor.
3. It is impossible to "just lay down for a minute" with your child without falling asleep.
4. A three-year-old girl can eat an entire sleeve of Ritz crackers without throwing up. Especially if Mom has accidentally fallen asleep.
5. You never outgrow acne.
6. If you're going to set a gallon of milk on the countertop, it helps to turn your head and actually look where you're putting it. Otherwise, it might land on the floor.
7. One dishtowel isn't enough to sop up half a gallon of milk off the floor. But couple it with a giant bathtowel and it works.