Monday, June 26, 2006

Lost In Translation

Apparently my children and I speak two very different languages. Because when I speak, they either
A. Act like they didn't hear me
B. Do something other than what I said to do.

These are some problem phrases:

"Sister, pick up your dress-up clothes."
Translation: "Sister, get out your Polly Pocket dolls and play with them."

"Come here, please."
Translation: "Stand silently where you are and don't make any sudden moves."

"Sister, pick up your dress-up clothes, NOW."
Translation: "Sister, see how many plastic bead necklaces you can cram into a tiny little purse, NOW."

"Please put those clothes away."
Translation: "Please take these clean clothes that I laundered for you, unfold them and scatter them about your room."

"You may read books quietly on your bed."
Translation: "Practice your light saber skills, complete with sound effects, while your baby sister naps in the next room. Try very hard to wake her up."

"Bedtime! Go get in bed."
Translation: "Ignore me. Don't move a muscle. And while you're at it, think of something very important you need to discuss with me."

"Please, don't do that."
Translation: "Do that. Repeatedly."

"Just a minute!"
Translation: "Keep yelling at me. I can't get enough of that."


Mama of 2 said...

Trade the name sister for Little Man and you could be living at my house...minus the Polly Pockets (insert Power Rangers) and for dress up clothes (insert Halloween Costumes).

It's rather obvious Mommy Speak is a foreign language that requires many years of practice (most likely not until said children are parents themselves) to learn.

Tess said...

bwahahahaha!! that is too funny.

Melzie said...

I call that selective hearing :) And hey flylady hounded me too! what a coincidence ;) xoxo melzie

Lauren said...

I so don't mean to scare you but as they get older their hearing gets even worse... they think you said things like, "Don't worry about homework, I'll do it for you" and "Sure take the car, I don't see the need for a license."

Heth said...

True. So true.

Tracie said...

Your daughter must speak my daughter's if we could just find an interpreter. Anyone???

Andreia said...

There must be some similarities between the two languages because my kids do understand the words CANDY and MONEY. Funny, ain't it!

Cmommy said...

LOL! You gave me the best laugh of the day! C

jjofar said...

you are still cracking up the masses. i have been out of it since the move...lucky to have a techno-sis who is letting me play on her laptop. should be back in the blog world the new look and you were radiant at your sister's wedding.

Diana said...

"Please don't do that" Translation:"Do that. repeatedly."

YES! I understand! Arrrrrgh!!!!

Karmyn R said...

FREAKY!!! They speak the same language at my house too! It must be something in the water?

Michelle- This One's For The Girls said...

Funny, Supermom, I just told all four of my older kids to go to bed and here they are, gathered behind me around the computer to get their daily dose of your blog.

GO TO BED KIDS!!! (Can you see what I just typed?? I said GO TO BED.)

Anonymous said...

Your soo funny! You always seem to post about things I am thinking about! I liked your nazi/hippi analogy too! Oh and tell your sister congrats! I am happy for her!

Michelle said...

My hubby comments about this blog -"ug, it's so true, and it's getting annoying!"
Yup, so true.

For us, it's the "come here" miscomunication.

carrie said...

There are too many of these that sound just like they're spoken in our house!! Thanks for the laugh!


carrie said...

Oh, and the pediatrician keeps telling me that their hearing is "just fine" during check-ups! He'd love this post!