Friday, June 16, 2006

Dude Looks Like A Lady

I posted a comment on another blog earlier this week that I wasn't so caught up in how I look anymore.

Scratch that. I am.

I used to be such a cute little girl. I loved wearing dresses, playing with dolls and anything pink. Even into my young adult life I always preferred skirts and dresses to pants. As a professional during the pre-children era I loved wearing my skirts and pumps to work.

Then I had babies.

Going to one income did a number on the clothing budget. Not to mention what pregnancy and easy access to the fridge did to my derriere. Button up blouses gave way to stained T-shirts long and baggy enough to hide my new pudge. Pencil slim skirts were replaced by pants with worn out knees from crawling around on the floor. Pumps...well, I'm not even sure I could walk in them anymore.

But I didn't miss it. At first. These were things I gladly gave up to be home. And if given the choice, I would do it all over again.

But when did I start becoming a man?

The first thing I noticed was one lone, black hair growing from my chest. I plucked it. It came back. Then, while plucking my unibrow one day I noticed more dark, little hairs growing from my chin. Then on my upper lip. Yesterday while putting on lotion I saw them on the top of my foot!

In a year I will look like Frodo Baggins.

Many of you have voiced your disappointment in my new photo above. And to be honest, I don't like it either. I noticed how thick my neck has become. How large my nose looks. How manly my jaw seems.

I look like a drag queen.

I know to many I don't seem like it, but I am girly. Really, I am.

A friend asked me once where Sister got her girly-girl ways. "You don't seem that way," she said, not trying to be unkind.

Let's see. Uh...her dad?

It was me. ME! I'm a girl!! My appearance may tell you otherwise. but it's true. I don't grow facial hair by choice. I don't dress this way because I like it. And doing my hair and makeup would be grand, but I showered and put on deoderant. I can't even seem to fit that in every day.

Oh, to be young, beautiful and feminine again.

Perhaps I should start with shaving my feet.

28 comments:

Andreia said...

I think the new picture is a big improvement on the first one. It looks great just like the new blog-do. Fabulous, really!

Cheerio's on my butt? said...

Dude! oh sorry... no pun intended. I soo feel your pain! For starters I have been shaving the tops of my feet for awhile if that helps you feel better. And now I am obsessing over the hair on the top of my lip. When did it get that bad? I used to make fun of my sister and now I look like her! I don't think it helps any to not be able to look in the mirror as often as we want. Not that I want to anymore. Ugh. and my neck? It was thick to start with but now my husband says I could be a foortball player! He's joking...I think. I would kill myself if it was that bad! Maybe I don't want to know. anyways, just wanted to say that I feel for you! But for the record you don't look like a man and your picture looks fine to me! NOT a big neck in my book!

Grafted Branch said...

No...you don't look like a man! But I know what you mean. You DO know, don't you, that our ears and noses never stop growing. Don't believe me? Take a good look at the lobes on any 70-year old. Strange, sad and true. :(

JenLo said...

O grief, don't you know that anyone who's anyone shaves their toes?? And waxes their lip, unibrow, chin or whatever else needs it? And plucks the other stray places hair is not supposed to end up but does?

BTW, your pic looks just fine.

HeartsDesire said...

Your blog looks FANTASTIC!! And your picture is great! I think it's all very girly, just not in a whiny "Oh, I broke my nail." sort of way.

HolyMama! said...

ha! oh, i'm so laughing at you right now! really, though, you don't look manly. no one is going to be confused on father's day or anything. you look perfectly girly to me, but i enjoyed your post despite our disagreement on that!

Everyday Mommy said...

Oh, for heaven's SAKE! You're adorable! Are you KIDDING ME?! I think this whole post was just a ploy to elicit flattery from your throng of fans. You're cute as cute can be, so just stop.

Michelle said...

So the comments have me in giggles as much as your blog did. I must say I had fogotten about our nose and ears continually growing, or perhaps I had just blocked that out! UGH! And I hear you about the clothes issue, and just picked up a book to help me: "Wear more cashmere, 151 luxurious ways to pamper your inner princess" by Jennifer "Gin" Sander an as soon as I find a minute, where i'm not doing dishes, changing diapers, washing laundry, cleaning house or blogging I will see if this book is any good.

Bttrfly1976 said...

You are too funny. Your new look is great, blog and picture wise. It is good to actually know what your face looks like! Not to mention that fact that you are totally, insanely even, brave!!

janiners said...

To look like Frodo's not so bad, really. :-) Getting mistaken for the hero of a fictional story - what could be bad about that? :-) Anyways, girl, you are so nuts! I know you are one of the most beautiful girly-girls I know. After just observing you and your girls over the past year or so, I think that is what convinced me that I want a girl. Girls are so much fun!
By the way, I still haven't gotten a good look at your blog's new look yet (most of the pictures are blocked out here at work, what's up with that?) but I'm sure it looks great! And, who needs a picture of you when I get to see you every week? :-)

SuperMom said...

You're right, EM. It was all part of a diabolicle scheme to get lots of compliments.

And look how well it worked :-)

Shameless, isn't it?

Rabbit said...

Well, now that we KNOW it was a ploy... ;) Hush yerself up, girl. Shave what needs shavin, pluck what needs pluckin, powder your nose and smile. Beauty comes from within, and you're shining! Just wait till your boobs are dangling around your waistline. :D

jessica said...

You are soooo funny... and I share the same feelings about myself. Where did the skinny me who looked great in rockies go? Oh yeah, she got married and had two kids... and I dont have chest hair but I do have 3 random chin hairs that grow out of control. AUGH>>>>>>>>>

LiteratureLover said...

You do NOT look like a dude! Laughing.

Sabrina said...

I happened into your blog today, and before I read your post thought "she's pretty", then I read your post and had a good laugh! All the stuff you listed hair etc. is stuff MOST women deal with, and are beautiful, as to are you!

Melzie said...

LOL I love this blog. Yes I can so relate (4 hairs FOUR on my chin plucked semimonthly, and I already shave my toes LOL. Love the new blog look! xoxo melzie

h b said...

i love you

thebarefootpoet said...

Have you tried the new Gillette Fusion? 5 blades, available in a powered version, cool commercial...what's that? Shut Up? Well, I never... : )

Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) said...

Way too funny!!

Yes - I too miss my pre baby tummy etc and I rarely get my makeup on except in the car when my hubby is driving.

Mama of 2 said...

Okay first off you DO NOT I repeat DO NOT look like a dude -- not even a vague resemblence.

As for dressing like a girlie girl. I hear ya. I used to love getting all dolled up and heading out whether it be to work or a night on the town. Not so much anymore...not cause I don't want to but who has the time.

Don't be too hard on yourself since I personally think you look wonderful.

Heth said...

Frodo Baggins, drag queen. You are so stinking funny. No WAY do you look like a dude.

joyfuljourney said...

LOVE the Frodo Baggins line! What an incentive to shave those feet and toes!

Thanks!

Shayne said...

Howling! I'm howling! I too have found strange hairs lurking in formerly unheard of places.

Not that you really wanted to know that, but ohmigoodness you gave me a great laugh today and honey...I needed it.

Frodo Baggins...who knew?

P.S. You're gorgeous so shut up.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh funny & Oh-how-I-can-relate! Love your blog- just found you... will be back to browse the archives for sure!

shannon @ rocks in my dryer said...

OH that's funny. You don't look like a man, or a hobbit!

carrie said...

I love this post!! I have to say that aging and growing hairs in places I'd rather not are two of my least fav. things!!! And your new look and pic are absolutely fabulous!

Carrie

Minnie said...

Oh, you SLAY me!!! I can totally relate.

heartsjoy said...

ROFL!!!