Monday, May 22, 2006

It's Always Something


A friend invited the kids and I to dinner tonight. I offered to bring dessert.

Now, I'm no gourmet, but I can cook. No one's ever died from eating it, so I take that as a positive.

I decide on cheesecake. A real cheesecake. I mean, who doesn't like cheesecake? I bake it for an hour, according to the recipe. The sides are set but the center is soft. As I remove the sides of the springform pan, a little crack appears along the edge. By some miracle I manage to remove the sides while keeping the cake in tact. Disaster narrowly escaped. I leave it to cool on the top of the stove and go back to chasing my brood of wild monkeys.

I return about ten minutes later to find my perfect cheesecake defiled. The crack gave way to an avalanche of cream cheese filling and buttery, graham cracker crust, laying in a heap on the top of my freshly scrubbed rangetop (See how clean it is? Looks pretty good, huh?).

So what do I do now?

I grab a fork and eat the part that fell off. Occupational hazard, you know.

We take the scarred cheesecake and head out to our friends' house. Dinner was delicious. The cheesecake was scrumptious, even if it wasn' t pretty. We had a great time eating, chatting and playing games. Around 8:00 Baby starts to fall apart. Bedtime. So, after saying I need to go about five times, I finally make it out the door with my traveling circus sometime around 9-ish.

It's almost completely dark when we pull in the driveway. Baby has fallen asleep, of course, and the other two are nice and whiny. All I want to do is get them in the house and put them to bed. I juggle the leftover cheesecake, Baby and my keys, performing a spectacular feat 0f skill and agility to get the door unlocked. The door swings open and I smell it.

Gas.

It's not just a slight odor. It is thick in the air. I immediately turn and tell the kids to get out in the yard. My heart is racing as my mind plays pictures of my house exploding. I don't know what to do. I go back in, leaving the front door wide open. I enter the kitchen to find one of the knobs turned ever so slightly. No flames. Just gas. I turn it off and head out into the yard with the kids. I call my husband at work, who goes into drill sergeant mode. I go back in and open the back door, as he instructs me to do. He tells me to leave it for three minutes and call him back.

It's dark. It's hot. And we're all being eaten alive by giant, killer mosquitoes. The kids think it's great. They are running up and down the driveway like it's one, big, happy, night at the park. I, on the other hand, am a nervous wreck. I call my friend - the one I just had dinner with - to tell her what has happened. She suggests I call the fire department, just to see what I should do.

Yeah, that would be good.

But instead of just giving me instructions over the phone, they send out the truck. Sirens, lights, the whole shebang. This brings the neighbors out of the woodwork. So I have to tell my story a few hundred times more while the fireman check out my house.

Luckily, I had washed dishes and picked up the living room before we left. However, the litter box needed to be changed. But they probably didn't notice the smell, seeing as the house was filled with deadly, noxious gas and all.

Yet another exciting day in the life of a supermom.

After finally getting the kids all tucked in, I watched the news to what other exciting things were happening in this fine city. Top Story: Woman has her toes licked in Wal-Mart parking lot.

No, I did not make that up.

See, it could always be worse.

23 comments:

Everyday Mommy said...

RFLOL! I'm sorry...maybe I shouldn't laugh. Dang! That cheesecake looked good. I'll have to post a photo of the buttermilk coconut pie I made tonight.

Oh, and so you know, I put my favorite blogs into three different folders in my Bloglines.com account. There's gold, silver and bronze blogs. YOU are in the gold folder.

I'll be linking to this post. It must be read by many!

thebarefootpoet said...

Are we related? That just cracked me up. And of course the kids loved it! It just sounds like the home I grew up in, and the one I live in. Are you sure we're not related?

deodorantfl said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Angie said...

I love it! What a great story! EM was right, this one should be read by all!

Michelle- This One's For The Girls said...

Now that old cranky lady in your neighborhood will have something to talk about!!!

Jana said...

Oh, man! Now see, I would have burst into tears when I saw the cheesecake, and then eaten the whole thing.

janiners said...

oh man, girl! we all were sort of scared for you when you called us and told us your house was filled with gas! i only recommended calling the fire department since Jerry had once started a grease fire in our apartment in an attempt to burn it down and we had called the fire department to ask them what in the world we needed to throw on it to put it out. we were adamant that we didn't need them to come out and I figured they could just give you some advice as to what to do like they did with us. what a night! maybe it's just as well they came out since that could have been a pretty dangerous situation. i'm so glad you all are okay and that nothing bad happened.
Jerry told me about the woman getting her toes licked in the parking lot of Wal-Mart. I was like, what? that's totally weird and more than a little creepy. ewww!
I had so much fun just hanging out with you all last night!

Denise W. said...

LOL I love reading your blog! I once made a chocolate cheesecake (that my friend had made several times without incident)that was tasty pudding.

I must know why the lady at Wal-Mart was moving so slow someone was able to lick her toes....?

LiteratureLover said...

What a story! I was laughing so hard at the part where the fire truck came. At least your kids were having fun during the whole event! ;)

jjofar said...

Making memories for the kids is the name of the game! Way to go Supermom!

jessica said...

Did you take pictures of the firetruck for the family scrapbook?

When we first moved into our house my husband was leaning against the stove... he turned the burner on with his bottom and set the box lid that was on top of the stove on fire. It was quite commical and there is a lovely pic of the box in our scrapbook.

Diana said...

My mother did that once- left the burner on, no fire just gas. And she's obsessive about the stove, always wondering aloud if she's turned it off, and she still did that.
Thankfully you guys weren't in the house. The fire trucks must have brought on some nice attention, maybe the firefighters were just bored...

SuperMom said...

For all you enquiring minds, here's the toe-licking story:

A woman was loading her groceries into the trunk of her car at Wal-Mart yesterday and felt something weird on her toe. She thought it was a dog. She crouched down and looked under her car and there was a man...licking her toes. She started yelling at him and he took off running.

Sick...but funny.

h b said...

!!! it never fails my dear friend, the adventures of supermom are never dull! i love that your traveling circus had the chance to have their own personal light show. you're stove looks amazing by the way :)

Cheerio's on my butt? said...

Wow! You just posted the most exciting one of the day! Never had that one happen...yet. Glad it turned out okay! Oh and I want to see the news article about the lady having her toes licked! Was it by a man, a kid, an alligator? It was probably my kids that did the toe licking in the story....Kids? Where Did you go to now?!

Kyle said...

You got a fire truck at your house!!!

No fair. Why could they be there Saturday night!

Sarah said...

You ALWAYS get the good blog material! :-) MAN -- if only you had gotten your toes licked, it would have been perfect! :-)

Malissa said...

sounds like quiet a day;)!

Grafted Branch said...

You are hilarious!

Found you surfing the CWO ring.

I think you're going to have to go on my blogroll -- if you don't mind?

Karmyn R said...

Okay - I actually linked this post to mine tonight! What a great story! I can just see your kids running around outside with the firetruck pulling up. You aren't laughing now - but in a few weeks you will be! HA HA!

Mama of 2 said...

Well I have to say I have done the very same thing with the gas. We lived in an apartment at the time and while there was no flame on the burner the knob wasn't turned completely off. I too was scared but thankfully I called the gas company rather than the fire department. I would have never lived down the whole red lights and siren thing in my complex.

So you are in good company cause I bet that we aren't the only 2 spacey moms who have done this...we are just the only two willing to admit it.

BTW- The whole sirens and red lights was pretty funny actually.

Heth said...

Mmmm. Cheesecake.

carrie said...

My eyes are seriously watering at that HILARIOUS story! And, the Wal-Mart bit just put me over the edge! I knew there was a reason I preferred Target!!! You are too funny!