This is my theory- children have a small "bubble" they live in, they believe the world revolves around them, they haven't quite realized that the world is bigger than their "bubble". When other children enter the picture they realize they have to share the space with other people and don't like it, so they will do anything to get more focus on themselves, including fighting with whoever has encroached upon their space. Anyway, that's just my non-professional opinion lol :D
Not sure about the WHY they do it...just an few ideas to keep it to a minimum. My favorite response is "DO OVER!" That means that all offending parties must go to their room to start the day over. They may have to sit on their beds for 10 minutes or 1/2 an hour depending on how old and how frequently they forget. After about the 3rd do over in one day they figure it out and learn to quit. (no toys, sit or lay on bed silently ...or we add more time.) It is heaven because mommy and non offending parties get peace and quiet for a few moments. Another method for older children, is to point out that if they can't get along, you'll have to find them something to do to bless the home. Then put them to work. Wiping down bathrooms, brushing out the dog, unloading the dishwasher, or spot mopping the kitchen. Taking the focus off of themselves for a bit and blessing others will either change their attitude, or they will just quit to get out of working. Either way, mom gets some help and a solution is reached."Tomato staking" little ones and pre teens works effectively, if you stick with it. This lady had 10 kids and has lots of great advice. Check out her side bar for specific behavior corrections. http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com
this is so funny to read after just reading your trip to see the new baby and all the tender sweet moments us moms feel...AND THEN, they grow up and argue. i love it!!! i got the baby fever a few weeks ago after holding a new one. it's the baby fresh smell that kills me. i have tried baby lotion on my boys now that they are older...it doesn't smell the same now :)
I will split the tab with you if you find the secret and share it here. :-)
My kidlets are 7 and 9. One of each. I have figured out why they bicker. Because they can. And they know it drives us nuts.I tell them that when their dad and I are dead, all they'll have is each other, so they better learn to get along.it doesn't work. They just give me the "yeah, right!" look.
jealousy.It's all I can figure.
I have an 11, 6 and 4. All girls. The younger two require a fair amount of refereeing. Mostly, they just want to know that they've been heard, so when they have a conflict, they are to drop what they're doing, hold hands and talk, in turn, until they've both stated their case and can find a compromise. It's never failed -- though it does require varying degrees of parental guidance.But WHY do they bicker?..."A brother is born for adversity, but a friend loveth at all times." Maybe that really means that this is their job! Siblings are meant to work out their social skills on one another, because they have to...friends can be fair-weathered and leave when the love does. lol.
Now that the average life span has increased due to better medical care, it's the new way of trying to get rid of us (by driving us insane) so that they can take their supposedly rightful place in the universe. ;)
I'm with Laura on this one: I'll kick in another buck fifty if you'll share the answer with me. Because I'm going grey from all the bickering around here amongst my three "precious angels." And the biting... Oh, the biting...
You should have taken the blue pill.(BTW -that's a reference to the Matrix movie NOT an encouragement to take drugs.)Man, you've got lots of good advice asking that question. I'm gleaning from these comments. I especially liked what Grafted Branch had to say about that particular scripture.
Umm...I'll see that buck fifty and raise you a buck fifty. I've had to start dyeing my hair - it's almost 50% grey and I'm only 37!!!
I'm sorry to say the I have only one little person so this is one challenge I'll never face. Of course, we don't have the built-in playmate either. I suppose it all depends on how you look at it.
just think of it as preparation for the work world when they have to negotiate for a raise.
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