Thursday, March 01, 2007

Don't Go Breakin' My Heart

Is five-years-old too young to be pre-menstrual? After having two girls, I'm beginning to think the female species is born with a special mutant drama gene and PMS begins at birth...maybe conception.

Every Tuesday and Thursday morning I leave for the day and wander off to college to (theoretically) gain some wisdom and knowledge, and perhaps one day, a degree. Poor Sister still hasn't quite warmed up to this idea and begins telling me the moment she wakes up that she doesn't want me to go. Our conversation usually goes something like this:

"Mommy, I don't want you to go." (said with very sad eyes and voice)

"I know, Honey."

"But, Mommy, I really don't want you to go."

"I know. I heard you. But you're going to have lots of fun with Daddy today."

"No I won't have fun." (pouting)

"Okay, if you say so."

"Mommy, I really need to tell you something."

"What is it, Sweetie?"

"I don't like it when moms go."

"I'm sorry."

"But, Mommy..."

"Honey, I know you don't want me to go, but I have to. It's good to learn new things, even when you're a mom."

"Mommy! (exasperated) I'm trying to tell you something!!"


"I really don't want you to go."


"Because I...I just like you."

"I like you, too, and I like being with you. I will be with you all day tomorrow."

"But I want you to be here today."

"I know."



"I really don't want you to go."

You get the idea? This continues the entire morning until I leave, and there are sometimes tears involved. But today she turned the drama up a notch and made a most heart-wrenching scene. Hubby had sent her to her room as a way to pry her from my leg and let me finish getting ready to go. This did not go over well with her. She began sobbing on her bed and performed a very emotional monologue that would rival the most seasoned of thespians:

"This is all Daddy's fault! Mommy? (I do not answer, but try to ignore it so as not to get involved in this daddy/daughter matter) Mommy?! Mommy's already gone. Daddy made me miss her! (more weeping) I don't like daddies! I only like mommies!"

And the Oscar goes to...

After a while, she finally calms down and is allowed to come out just as I am leaving. I hug her and try to talk to her about other things to take her mind off my departure, but to no avail. She is trying to be brave and not cry, but she just can't turn it off. "I want to open the door for you," she says, sniffling. She opens it and I give her another big hug and tell her I love her. I remind her to color some pictures for me so I can see them tonight when I get home as I'm walking out. She nods her head and closes the door, fighting the tears, but very unsuccessfully.

My instinct is to throw down my books, scoop her up and weep with her, but I figure that will only escalate the drama, so I pretend I don't notice and get in the car. Just as I am pulling out of the driveway she runs out the front door in bare feet in the chilly morning wind and I hit the brakes. I open my door wide and let her jump into my arms, plastering her cheeks with kisses. "I love you. I'll be home soon," I say. "Okay," is her tiny response and she heads back up the steps to the front door. I see her bottom lip trembling and her face contorting into that squished up grimace one gets when they're holding back the floodgates.

It was all I could do to back the car out of the driveway.


Rocks In My Dryer said...

This was so funny, but you know what? "I don't like it when moms go" is actually a really profound little statement. Out of the mouths of babes.

I've missed you, my friend!

Dawn said...

Made ME cry!!! Can't help it, I'm pregnant, lol! I think you handled it just right and hopefully you made it through your day without breaking down!

Kyle said...

This is actually a great experience for her - a big part of growing up just a little.

Good thing she's got such great Mom whose love and affection is obvious to her and who can also draw some healthy lines in life.

Now, where is we vote for Mother-of-the-Month?

Antique Mommy said...

That is heartbreaking. Record it for the teen years. My mom has this little book of children's quotes and one of them is from a little girl in Australia who says something like, "My mother is so pretty that I should like to stay home and kiss my her face all day. But I have to go to school." So sweet. Never happens to me.

Anonymous said...

Why not stay home? kids are only young a little while.

Anonymous said...

she's not staying home because i believe women should have the right to do a few things of their own! like get some education!!!

what the hell is your problem? leaving your mindless pablum on my hot wife's blog, and then not having the courage of your convictions to tell her who you are?

do you wear a veil over the majority of your face? damn! i am guessing you are a proud member of the conservative christian coalition!

oh and btw, i am the............

............hubby of supermom

jesprincess said...

Way to go hubby of supermom!!! Let's run those radicals out of here!

Mel said...

That sounds EXACTLY like my daughter. She'll be 5 in September.

(Sometimes I sneak out . . . I only leave the house about once a week without her but I can't stand the drama!)

yerdoingitwrong said...

Nicely said hubby of Supermom!!! I detest those anonymous drive by judgers. anonymous = chickenshit. Excuse my french.

You're doing great, girl. And that had to be hard to leave. I just went back to work and had to leave my 11 week old behind. Oh wow, was it difficult!!!

Lucy said...

I totally know how you feel. My kids put up such a fuss when I leave them to go to my Bible study group one night a week. But of course, when I pick them up from their grandma's house (where they go twice a week) they cry and claim they like being at grandma's house better. I think kids just don't like change. Mine don't like any deviation from the normal routine. Unless they're going to grandma's house, of course.

Maybe you're dragging it out too much? My son flipped out every day for a while when he started kindergarten. I found that establishing a short routine as I dropped him off really helped. We prayed and then went over "the plan" which was that he would get out of the car, walk to the door, go in the door, go to his class, etc. And then I would drive away and cry. :) But he's great now!

Heth said...

Oh CUTIE! I love the "Mommy! (exasperated) I'm trying to tell you something!!" Like you didn't get it the first five times. Oh the drama.

Rent DVD said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Andrea said...

I know just what you mean. I recently went back to work part time. My son goes to a babysitter one day a week. You would think I am permanently leaving him with her, never to return. It's so hard to drive away, even though I know he'll have a good time and be fine. Hang in there! Daddy/daughter bonding is a good thing! :)

Lisa B @ simply His said...

I'm so there with you :) My daughter is 7 (only 1 of them) and she begged to go with me to a PTA meeting. I told her she had to stay with Daddy and I was only going to be gone a little bit. Same type drama you described here :)

When I returned, Daddy and Daughter were laying in the bed watching a movie together. It's one of the few times they were together doing something relaxing like that.

Lisa B.

Deena said...

My son calls me every half hour when I have a date with my husband, "When are you coming home?" because he misses me.
Bottom line, if your kids love you, and like you as well, no matter when you go or where you go...there's gonna be drama.
We need to teach them that Jesus is the only One who will never leave them (serious comment)...'cause sometimes momma just gotta get outta da house (joking comment)!! LOL!!